Thursday

Necessity means that I must head into Wood Green at lunchtime, specifically the glorious Shopping City, to pay in a cheque and do some present shopping. It's Alex's 24th birthday today, so obviously I head straight for the Toy City toy shop to try and find a hopelessly tacky present for her. There's no point buying people good stuff for their birthdays (meaning that it would require too much thought, and I prefer to do that kind of thing at Christmas.

Accordingly, I opt for a box of colouring pencils (she's currently doing more drawing), a satin pirate's eyepatch and something called a 'Plate Lifter' which is basically a tiny whopee cushion attached to an equally tiny pump. Apparently you put one end under a table cloth and 'astound your friends' by using air to make the plate move around on its own. I am immediately suspicious of its efficacy - but tickled by the idea that anyone would find this impressive (or even astounding), even if it worked brilliantly.

After work, having wrapped the present expertly, Alex pops round and we walk up to The Queens to meet Will, along with Alex's friends Duley and Sam. We have a few pints in the 'beer garden' (not so garden-like these days) and Alex is delighted with her ridiculous presents. The eyepatch is passed around and photographed - and when we try and amaze Will with the Plate Lifter, we struggle to get it to move even a sheet of A4 paper. The effect is almost imperceptible - the idea that it could make a plate dance as implied in the charming illustration on the packet is brilliantly laughable. At any rate we never got to try a plate - the thing broke after around five minutes.

At kicking-out time we walk back over to the Turnpike Lane area, unwisely picking up a bottle of wine along the way, which we drink at Alex's house while listening to music. It's very late when I finally get back, once again much to K's disappointment. Tomorrow's dinner better be brilliant...